-For Sarafin and his beautiful Aurora
Let me tell the tale
of a young a man who didn’t give up.
No matter how hard life got for him
He never let it blow up.
He left his native land
to provide a better life for his family.
Set foot in a country with nothing,
but glimpse of hope in his eyes.
Hope that got him through,
Almost every day of his life.
He never looked back since then.
He strived to achieve success;
Got awarded for being a great citizen.
But as time flew by,
the beautiful skin on his face started to crinkle,
Lines appeared around his mouth when he laughed,
Words became murmurs that no one could understand,
Legs became stiff.
Mind began to laze,
And the love of his life was too faraway.
“Aurora, my beautiful Aurora”,
was what parted from his gentle lips.
A year and a half without her was like living without water for him.
She’s in the same home as he is,
But on the very opposite side.
As I was wrapping up my interview with him
The last thing he mentioned was his beautiful Aurora.
He finally was going to meet,
And spend time with his one and only.
Both of them had enough of the separation.
Now was the time when they actually needed each other.
Now was the time they would ultimately come together.
However, a huge hallway, a flight of stairs, numerous rooms and a wheelchair distanced them once again.
Nevertheless, he was happy.
He was at ease.
His wife and him were still alive.
June 16, 2018 at 9:55 pm
Dearest Nimrit,
You have such a powerful and beautiful voice! Through this writing, you were able to tell such a beautiful story of two souls that belonged together, even when they were separated.
One small mistake I found was in the lines:
“Hope that got him through,
Almost every day of his life.”
You capitalized ‘Almost,’ even though you did not need to as you had used a comma before it. I also found you doing this a few other times This creates a bit of irregularity because in the rest of your poem you don’t always capitalize every word at the start of each line.
Amazing work! Can’t wait to read more from you!
With love,
Natalie